


Better the Devil you know

by impatientseamstress



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Evil has standards, Forehead Touching, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Characters, Minion is best fish, No actual assault takes place, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Taking care of one another, hurt characters having realistic reactions, running from danger, warnings for mention of date rapists, wound care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28373481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impatientseamstress/pseuds/impatientseamstress
Summary: Rescue doesn't always come in the form of heroes
Comments: 18
Kudos: 176





	Better the Devil you know

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on tumblr over the last couple of days but here is the final version all in one. Thanks to everyone who supported me while I was writing it.

Ow ow ow, fuck these fucking shoes keep going run _run._

Roxanne increased her pace as she ducked into a side alley that should link between this street and the well lit shopping district. The alley twisted left instead of right and she smacked off the wall and almost tripped. Behind her, angry swearing from her pursuers informed all who might be listening that that fucking bitch had disappeared and to split up and find her. Fuck. She doesn’t know this side of town. Where was she?

She swallowed and tried to calm her breathing. Nails digging into the palms of her hands she hunkered down silently behind a dumpster to try and figure out which way out before they caught her. Footsteps sounded away from her direction, then paused and headed back towards her with purpose. She jumped up and sprinted for the end of the alley. One of the suit and tie motherfuckers from the bar appeared in front of her and snatched at her, catching her bag. The strap tore from her arm but she didn't stop, dodging into another side street where a large dark shape was coming out of a doorway.

Roxanne stumbled, her dress catching on something with a rip and nearly slammed into a fur coated cybernetic suit.

“Minion!” She nearly cried with relief, which was a weird fucking reaction to be having at the sight of the person who was personally responsible for at least half the times she was knocked out and tied to a chair. But right now someone, _anyone_ , was better than nothing given who was chasing her.

The fish swimming in the dome at the top of the tank looked down and blinked, “Miss Ritchi?” He set the bags of groceries in his arms on the ground and took a hesitant step backwards, “What are you doing here?”

“Hide me!” she pleaded frantically, glancing back at the alley then up at him desperately “Or kidnap me. I don’t care, please!”.

Minion looked confused.

“There she is!” The group from the bar rounded the corner. An ugly snorting mass of rage and self entitlement. Minion’s gaze flickered from Roxanne to the five men who were suddenly pulling up at the sight of a seven foot robotic suit looming in their direction.

“Hey man…fish…robot dude,” one of the leaders approached, white polo and khakis incongruous against the grime of the alley, “She’s a friend of ours,”

The guy from earlier held up her purse as evidence “She’s just having a bad trip, took too many pills. We were just taking her home okay?” he reached out for Roxanne as if she’d willingly approach the creepy fucking date rapists when she had an…acquaintance? Whatever he was in a cybernetic suit to hide behind.

“Miss Ritchi?” Minion fluttered his fins at her, Roxanne clutched the fur of his suit a little tighter and shook her head.

Polo shirt with his four hundred dollar haircut scowled and tried to take hold of her wrist. Roxanne jerked back and shifted around behind Minion’s arm.

“Hey c'mon dude, with Metro Man on holiday you should be tearing up the city. Leave our friend to us okay?”

Minion frowned, looking between them again then gave a short nod as if confirming something, “I’m afraid when it comes to Miss Ritchi we’ve already established a finders-keepers prerogative” He opened a door out of nothing and gestured Roxanne inside, she scrambled into the front seat of the invisible car and huddled in the seat, feet drawn up tightly. “Please don’t touch anything in there Miss Ritchi,” Minion said politely, “We’ll be on our way shortly.” He closed the door and Roxanne took what felt like her first real breath in a year. She clenched her fists tight, put her head down and tried to ignore the sting of tears on the scrape of her cheek where she’d ricocheted off a wall trying to get away.

She couldn’t hear everything that went on outside, nor could she see clearly through the dark windows. But there was a thump, and a cry of pain, and the hum of a laser charging before running steps faded away. Then boot lid of the car thunked down and Roxanne jumped, scrubbing a hand over her face.

The door on the other side of the car opened and a long gorilla arm offered her bag. Roxanne took it and pulled out her phone, smashed, fuck.

Minion settled to the drivers seat, the car frame creaking at the weight of his suit. 

“Do you have a-” Roxanne cut herself off as her breath hitched, “Have a phone I can use to call a cab?”

“I’m afraid not Miss Ritchi,”

Oh. Well she’s been kidnapped under worse circumstances. Maybe.

Minion was frowning at the rearview mirror as he reversed out of the alley, “I’ll take you somewhere safe Miss Ritchi,”

“Thanks Minion,” Now she wanted to cry for a completely different reason. Roxanne unlocked her arms from her knees and lowered her feet into the footwell. Then she flinched and pulled her feet back up, “Ice?” she asked, peering at the bags at her feet. Minion’s gaze flickered from the road to the rearview mirror and back to her. “Apologies Miss Ritchi, I’ll pull over and move it.”

“Its fine. I’m the one that threw myself at you in a dark alley and made you play hero.”

Minion when he wasn’t doing the Evil Laughter had a surprisingly nice laugh, “There was nothing heroic about it Miss Ritchi, just a better brand of Evil as Sir would say.”

“I guess so,” Roxanne folded her arms and looked out the window as Minion drove through an empty red light. Then she closed her eyes again. Being in the invisible car awake was a hell of a thing. Her nerves were already shot. Would it be bad if she asked for a hit of the knock out spray right now?

“Er, Miss Ritchi?” Minion was concentrating very intensely on the road in front of them. Which made sense when you think about the fact that other drivers can’t see you coming.

“Yeah?” Roxanne was focused on keeping her head down and breathing.

“Your dress, Miss Ritchi,” he sounded very uncomfortable.

Roxanne looked down and cursed, the skirt was torn from the hem up almost to her waist, offering Minion a clear view of most of her legs and a significant portion of her hip, “Shit,” she jerked the tear closed, “I didn’t even...” None of them had caught her had they? Only the one that had her purse and he never actually laid a hand on her, had he?

“I’m terribly sorry Miss Ritchi, that must have been the spikes on the car,” Minion apologised, “There should be a blanket, I’ll get it from the back seat at the next lights.”

“Nevermind,” Roxanne swallowed bile. Safe now. She’s safe now, she’s fine, she’s with Minion, Minion is safe. “I got it,” She wriggled around and looked into the back for said blanket and froze.

Slumped in the back seat, dead to the world in a prison orange jumpsuit, was Megamind.

“Oh.” Roxanne sat back down and stared at the road, and when Minion veered expertly between two lorries just as one started changing lanes she looked down at her lap again, “You weren’t on a grocery run were you?”

“Not entirely” Minion said apologetically.

Roxanne hadn’t really considered that Megamind might be here. Last she reported he was in prison and when she saw Minion with shopping bags the part of her brain not entirely devoted to blind panic had jumped to the conclusion he was catching up on the day to day while Megamind was in jail.

“You can let me out at a phone box” she said quietly, pulling the tear in her dress closed, "I’ll call a cab from there,“

Minion grimaced, “Sir isn’t likely to wake up, if that’s what you’re worried about Miss Ritchi. We can still drop you home”

Oh. They are dropping her home. That’s good. She doesn’t want to be broadcast looking like this.

Roxanne wondered if it was shock setting in and blinked against the hot sting of tears. Stupid fucking…she faced deathtraps and giant robots on a regular basis. How dare a bunch of self entitled business district wankers make her feel so unsafe.

Shit. She wanted a hug. Or that blanket. Minion slowed and turned left away from the busier traffic on the main thoroughfare. Roxanne stuck her hand behind the seat and found a heavy wool blanket puddling from the back seat into the footwell. When they paused for a gap in traffic she knelt up on the seat and pulled the blanket towards her. It slid off the seat and Megamind’s legs, catching at the side of the jumpsuit and revealing a heavy black bruise the shape of a boot print planted over his ribs. “What the fuck” Roxanne said before she could stop herself. Megamind didn’t move, he didn’t even stir. Yellow from the streetlights painted harsh shadows into the bags under his eyes, prison suit loose and crumpled around his thin frame, she’d never seen him so still.

“Miss Ritchi,” Minion said warningly.

“Sorry.” Roxanne tugged the blanket over and wrapped it around her, tucking it over the tear in her dress. She tried looking at Minion but every time he glanced away from the road towards her she wanted to stamp her foot on a brake in response. Instead she stared at the plastic bags of ice below her feet and glanced occasionally back at Megamind. It was easier than watching the road, easier than thinking about the throbbing in her cheek or the fact that she’d thrown herself at a supervillain duo for help. 

Minion braked suddenly for a turning car and Roxanne gasped, clutching the seat to stop herself sliding into the dashboard and its display of blinking dials and buttons. The sudden inertia sent Megamind flying off the rear seat and into the back of the front.

“Sorry,” Minion apologised and turned the wheel to mount the pavement for the next block. Blue hands gripped the back of the seat and Megamind pulled himself upright with a groan. He glared at Minion who flicked his fins apologetically then caught sight of Roxanne who flushed and snapped her eyes back down to her feet.

“Wha? Miss Ritchi?” Megamind blinked rapidly and jerked the collar of his jumpsuit closed, scrabbling for his de-gun “Minion what is the meaning of this?”

“Miss Ritchi needed a ride home Sir,” Minion said deferentially.

“We are not in the habit of giving rides to recalcitrant damsels,” he glared at Roxanne who didn't look up, then pushed himself back into his seat with a grunt.

“It was a finders-keepers situation Sir. How are your ribs?”

“They’re fine,” Megamind snarled, then winced and pressed a hand to his chest “What happened?”

“Minion took care of it,” Roxanne said quietly, “Don’t yell at him,”

“Don’t ye- Miss Ritchi you are _my_ car being driven by _my_ henchfish looking like you were attacked by a wild mob-”

That description was a little to close to home for Roxanne and she hiccuped something that was suspiciously close to a sob.

“Fuck,” Megamind slung his arms over the headrests of the front seats and leaned forward again, “Why aren’t we taking her to the hospital Minion?

"Because I’m not-” Roxanne cut herself off and clenched her fists the blanket in her lap, _I’m fine_ she told herself, then repeated it aloud “I’m fine.”

A scoff was her only answer.

“Well what about you?” she retorted defensively. _I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine._

“I've already been in hospital," He snapped.

Minion gave a bubbly snort.

"The prison infirmary does so count.” Megamind glared at the driving fish, “What happened” he growled.

Roxanne stayed quiet while Minion filled Megamind in on what had occurred after she had sprinted out of an alley and almost through his suit. Then she added the context of the drunk young woman at the bar who was clearly uncomfortable surrounded by the same group from earlier when Roxanne had intervened under the guise of yoga buddy. Keeping her on a chair at the bar with a glass of water until the girl’s friends could get back from the bathroom. Then how she had shoved, pressed and bullied her way to the front of the cab line to get them out of there. Eventually herding them one block up to sneak an early taxi for the quartet. When the cab took off she’d turned around to find the very angry group of young men who had apparently felt entitled to the young woman’s attention and if they couldn’t have her, Roxanne would have to do. How she had taken off running and was trying desperately to find her way back to a crowded area and safety when she ran into Minion.

Megamind didn’t make a sound until she finished talking, then only to say “Find out who they were Minion” and retreated back into silence and the back seat again.

They kept driving, Minion taking the occasional turn the wrong way down a one way street or running a red light to keep them distant from other cars. It was a roundabout way of driving but Roxanne supposed it made sense if other cars couldn’t see you coming. It was also completely fucking nervewracking. SHe'd never felt grateful for the knock out spray before.

Minion cruised to a stop and Roxanne realised they were at the edge of the river bridge, currently raised and waiting for the cargo ship chugging steadily towards the harbour to pass.

“If you don’t mind Miss Ritchi,” Minion reached over past her feet and pulled the bag of ice, wet and dripping from the footwell. He crushed the lumpy frozen brick until he could pour loose cubes into a plastic bag and wrap it in a small towel. “Here you are Sir” he handed the makeshift icepack behind him and there was a rustle and a hiss as it found its way onto the bruise.

“What the hell did you do?” Roxanne asked because the alternative was to stare at the bridge or relive running down dark streets alone.

Megamind made a dismissive sound, “I don’t always start fights Miss Ritchi, but once I’d been dragged into the fray no one was going to believe my pleas of innocence.”

“You just let them stomp the shit out of you?”

“There was no let about it. But once it got started it was going to be easier to just break out of the infirmary so might as well let them think they got their kicks.”

Minion blew a series of bubbles that while not in any language Roxanne could parse, still managed to get across _And what a stupid fucking idea that was_ quite clearly.

The cargo ship passed under the sides of the bridge and the all clear sounded to start lowering the roadway again. In the back seat Megamind sneezed then gave a pained groan, "Minion where is that blanket?”

Roxanne looked down at the worn wool in her lap, “Here,” She bundled it up and began feeding it back over the seat. She’d just ask to be let out once they were over the bridge. She’ll only be a ten minute cab ride from her house, as long as they let her out by a phone booth she’d be fine. It was getting too weird in the car. If they dropped her by a taxi rank she might be able to find a group of drunk girls and beg a hug.

“Miss Ritchi? No keep it I-ugh” Megamind groaned again and clutched the icepack to his chest, prison jumpsuit open to the waist to hold the pack carefully over the boot print bruise on his ribs.

“Shouldn’t you bind your ribs or something if they’re broken?” she asked, staring at the window beside him rather than at his chest or meet his eyes.

“Thankfully the bruise is the worst of it,” he grunted, pushing the rug back at her, “I’ll manage”

“Take the blanket, I don’t need it.”

Minion seethed a frustrated looking series of bubbles.

“Then we’ll trade places.” Megamind snapped, “Minion can turn the heater on in the back.” He made to climb over the seat into the front.

“You shouldn’t move with injured ribs”

“I am in a considerable amount of pain right now Miss Ritchi,” He glared at her “I would appreciate if you would stop arguing with me.”

“Then let me out on the other side of the bridge, I’ll make my own way home” Anger was bleeding into her voice, anger was good. Anger was better than flinching.

“We will not. Its either hospital or home for you Miss Ritchi.”

“Home then!” she snapped, then in a quieter voice, “please”

“Good. Then we trade.”

“Sir just stay there,” Minion ordered flatly, “We’ll be back to the lair as soon as we drop Miss Ritchi home.”

Megamind grumbled and Minion retorted with another stream of bubbles, “Oh have it your way you future fish-finger,” he groused, dropping back into the seat, then sneezed again, “I can manage a while longer.”

Roxanne felt a slightly guilty. She didn’t really need this blanket. It was just something to hold on to and to save Minion’s innocent eyes from her incredibly lewd legs.

Okay maybe she did need it a little. But she wasn’t really injured or holding ice.

“I wont look if you wont” she joked uncomfortably.

“What?”

Roxanne pushed the blanket over into the back, then holding her skirt closed, clambered awkwardly into the back seat and spread the blanket over both of them, keeping safely to the other side of the seat. Megamind shifted uncomfortably, trying to hold the icepack in one hand and tug the blanket up with the other. He frowned at Roxanne and she flushed at the realisation she must look like a total mess.

“Your cheek,” he muttered.

“Ran into a wall. The wall didn’t bounce” Roxanne said touching the scrape gingerly. The bridge opened and Minion took off again.

“They rarely do, I find” Megamind said drily. He gave a sigh that Roxanne was fairly certain he’d gotten from Minion and pulled out a first aid kit, “Come here Miss Ritchi, let me see you,”

Roxanne blanched and Megamind dropped the kit onto the seat between them, “Do it yourself then.” He turned away to stare out the window at the passing streets, pulling the blanket up over his shoulder.

Forcing her fists to unclench Roxanne opened the kit and fumbled around until she found a small bottle of iodine ointment and a roll of gauze. She tried to dab at her cheek with the gauze, but the windows of the car weren’t much of a mirror and she kept wincing whenever she found another grain of brick dust or the scrape went further along her cheek than she thought. When she went to tear a package of wound covers open she realised she’d ripped half the nail off her middle finger somehow. She stared at it blankly as the evidence of the injury suddenly woke up the rest of her pain receptors. “Oh shit” Her throat closed up and she dropped the package, clutching her hand and screwing her eyes shut against pain and tears and embarrassment.

“Miss Ritchi?” Minion asked from the front seat, concerned.

“What is-” Megamind looked over and caught sight of her hand “Fuck. Come here,” He didn’t wait for a response, dropping the icepack and tugging her over to take her hand and peer at it in the inconsistent light. “Painful. But it looks clean,” he mused, “Hold still,” He picked up the iodine and folded a piece of gauze under her finger. “Try not to slap me Miss Ritchi,” He held her hand out and squeezed Betadine over her finger. Roxanne gasped but he kept hold of her hand when she tried to jerk back, grunting in pain as the movement jarred his ribs. He wiped away the excess iodine gently and turned her hand back and forth to make sure it was the only damage.

“Fuck,” Roxanne sniffled. The icepack was laying between them, cold seeping onto her bare leg.

“Just a moment,” Megamind demurred, folding a bandage over her finger and frowning, “It will do I suppose.”

Roxanne curled her hand back against her stomach, “Thanks,” she muttered and rubbed the heel of her palm over her eyes before she added salt to the rest of her wounds. She picked up the icepack from between them, intending to hand it back.

Megamind blinked at her and there was a half a second of his usual attitude as he took in the ointment smeared on her cheek, “Honestly Miss Ritchi, you wonder why we tie you up.”

Roxanne shoved the icepack at him as he tried to tilt her head, fingertips cool against the angry red of her cheek. The blanket slipped and the first aid kit nearly tipped over. They both fumbled for a moment before Megamind huffed and muttered “Oh for Evil’s sake” and leaned into the icepack Roxanne was still holding while he scooped up the kit and straightened the blanket over them both.

There was an awkward moment of shifting and handing things back and forth before they wound up Megamind on one side of the bench seat, propped against the door while Roxanne her feet tucked up beside her, held the icepack against his ribs as he dabbed iodine on her cheek.

“Why did you come to us?” Megamind asked quietly, his brow furrowed as he anointed her skin with careful fingers.

“Technically I ran into you. And it was Minion,” she glanced at the rearview mirror and tried for a smile, jagged teeth grinned back at her reassuringly.

“But you stopped. You could have gotten out while Minion had them occupied and escaped.”

“Yeah well,” Roxanne bit her lip and shifted the icepack so that it covered more of the bruise, “I wasn’t really thinking clearly past find someone. And you guys are safe.”

Megamind jumped, Roxanne eased back on the pressure of the ice.

“We are hardly that” he scoffed, tilting her chin lightly to check the scrape was clean.

Roxanne winced but didn’t try to argue the point, uncertain how to even articulate that getting the most legitimately terrifying ride home in her life in a car that probably held enough firepower to blow up the entire city if Minion misjudged a turn or a lorry changed lanes without indicating was still somehow more reassuring than where her evening might have been headed. Megamind pressed a small bandage over her cheek, stroking gently over the edges, and met her eyes, “Hasn’t been a good day for either of us, has it?” He asked quietly

“Guess not” Roxanne closed her eyes for a moment and imagined the fingers on her cheek on the back of her neck, the arm resting along the seat back around her shoulders. . She felt one cool finger brush a tear from her cheek before it trickled down to wet the bandage. A domed forehead rested against her a moment and she leaned into the pressure. God she fucking wanted a hug.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t wrap your ribs?” she asked instead. Megamind pulled back and shook his head sharply, laying his hand over the icepack to let Roxanne reclaim her fingers.

Minion slowed and pulled up in front of the fire hydrant at Roxanne’s building. "We’re here,“ he announced quietly, "Sorry for needing to take the long way to get you home Miss Ritchi,”

Impulsively Roxanne slid off the seat and threw her arms around as much of Minion’s suit as she could reach, “Thanks Minion," she muffled into the fur of his shoulders. One cybernetic hand reached back and patted her shoulder gently, "Not at all.” He handed her purse back from the front seat and Roxanne wrapped the torn strap around her wrist.

“No really,” Megamind added, “Never mention this to anybody”

Roxanne nodded jerkily, pulling the the tear of her skirt closed and drew in a shaky breath, “Your grocery run secrets are safe with me.”

There was the telltale flump of something rehydrating and she jumped when a billow of black and blue fabric was thrown over her shoulders.

“One time use only Miss Ritchi, just so you can get inside without incident.” Megamind was looking deliberately towards the clouds starting to roll in.

Roxanne rubbed the fabric between her fingers, lighter than gauze it slid through her fingers like liquid, “You couldn’t have done that earlier?” she asked, fumbling to wrap the cape around herself.

Megamind looked back at her, his mouth pulled down and to one side, “No. And I’m going to want that back.” He reached out and straightened the cape. Roxanne held still as he fastened the clasp around her neck, fingertips brushing the pulse jumping in her throat. He looked up and studied her in the glow of the streetlights, “You’ll do,” he said shortly, releasing her. Roxanne tugged the edges close, half crouched in the space between the seats “Thanks for…” she trailed off, brushing her fingers over her cheek and gestured at the car, “Yeah thanks”

Megamind flicked his fingers dismissively but he watched as she checked there was no one outside before she opened the door and hurried towards her building. Minion left the front passenger window down so she could see the glow of his suit, waiting until she was safely inside before the car roared and took off again.

**Author's Note:**

> All of the driving in this STRESSED ME OUT.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. Please let me know what you think.


End file.
